In the grand tradition of pissing on everything we loved as a child for a quick buck, the Jem and The Holograms movie is set for release on October 23rd, and with today’s release of five new clips, alongside a music video, I’m distressed.
After dropping the bomb that there will actually be no fucking holograms (a particular slap in the face given that we are literally living in an age where fucking holograms are used in fucking music concerts), no running a record company, no synergy and that Jem becomes famous from posting videos on YouTube (frankly, letting you think we’d have learned our mistake after Beiber), these videos haven’t done much to reassure fans.
The imdb synopsis reads:
“As a small-town girl catapults from underground video sensation to global superstar, she and her three sisters begin a journey of discovering that some talents are too special to keep hidden”
Please keep it hidden.
Woah oh oh oh oh oh NO.
Frankly, I just can’t anymore. When a big budget film looks less entertaining than a cartoon invented solely to sell dolls to children, I just can’t even.
Instead, I’ll be reading the absolutely stunning new ICW comic run available to buy here, digging out my VHS tapes and sulking.